Eulogy For My Father-In-Law: Proven Ideas For A Touching Tribute

 

Please read on and you will find proven, easy-to-follow tips and ideas to help you write an amazing eulogy for your wonderful father-in-law even if you are not good with words or absolutely hate speaking in public.

It is said that people come into our lives at different times for different reasons.

Once upon a time, your father-in-law came into your life. Sadly, he’s no longer around and you have asked to deliver a touching tribute that honors his legacy in a very special way.

 

How do you do that through tears?  Whether you have known him decades or not, you can simply follow the ideas I am going to share with you because these are the same ideas the best eulogies are modeled after.

 

 

But, before we get into that, let me take a moment to express my deepest condolences to you and the entire family on the loss of this wonderful man.

 

Not sure if you are his son-in-law or daughter-in-law. But, I am sure your father-in-law impacted your life so much and I can’t imagine what you and your spouse are going through at this moment.

 

If you feeling so down and overwhelmed by his loss, Diana Blokzyi’s poem ‘’ Gone Away’’ can be a great source of comfort in this very difficult time.

Here it is:

An Angel whispered,
"Take my hand and
come with me;
your work here is done."

I went away to a place
where there's no tears nor sorrow,
only laughter and smiles.
There will always be a tomorrow.

As I move amongst the clouds.
I'll look down and smile upon you,
while the angels
sing a heavenly song.

I am not alone.
All who went before
are here;
they awaited my return.

I know you'll grieve
and wish I was still here.
I am here in the memories
you hold dear.

Remember how much I
love you,
and know I took your
love with me.

I did not wish for
you to cry nor feel sad.
My pain is gone and
I am free!

Soon you'll come to me.
Until then,
God will be with you
Just as He's with me.

 

Well, if you need someone to talk to, you can write to me here and I will send you some comforting verses.

 

How To Write A Touching Eulogy For Your Father-In-Law

 

Here’s what most folks do when asked to write a tribute. Out of frustration and ignorance, they scan through some examples online and make a few edits here and there and call it done. That helps to an extent if you don’t know where and how to start. 

 

In order to effectively express your ideas passionately and coherently, you should simply follow these steps.

 

Here they are:

 

• Pick a tone for your eulogy
• Decide on the ideal length of your eulogy
• How and where to get stories for your tribute
• Make the most of eulogy for father-in-law examples
• Write your father-in-law tribute like a pro

 

This comes first….

 

Pick A Tone For Your Father-In-Law’s Eulogy

 

Your own writing style as well as your late father-in-law’s character and personality would ultimately influence the tone of your message.

 

For example, if your father-in-law was fun to be around, you can regale the mourners with funny memories about him.

 

If he had a very thoughtful personality, then, of course, you can make your script very touching and inspiring.

 

Again, if he was a very spiritual person, then subtle hints of that aspect of his life should be felt in his funeral speech.

 

You got it?

 

That brings us to the next step:

 

What Should Be The Ideal Length Of Your Father-In- Law’s Eulogy?

 

As a professional eulogy speech writer, I have heard and read both short and long tributes. Nonetheless, the decision to deliver something short or long depends on these factors:

• The amount of time his family has asked you to speak
• The number of speakers delivering eulogies

 

If none of that exists, then do what you are comfortable with but don’t go overboard with a very long eulogy that would bore the audience to death.

 

On the whole, make sure you honor his memory with the right words no matter how long or short your tribute is.

 

This comes next:

 

Where And How To Find The Right Anecdotes

 

Human beings have loved listening stories since ancient times. So, who said the weeping mourners wouldn’t want to hear great stories about the deceased?  

 

Now, this is how to remember the good old times if you don’t a fantastic memory or simply want to come up with the best stories for your father-in-law’s eulogy.

 

• Speak to your significant other and ask probing questions about the dead man. Questions like…Babe, do you remember the first time I met your dad? One question can lead to the other and before you know it, you have tons of memories to choose from.
• Flip through your photo album and look for pictures of him and ask yourself what each picture brings back to mind?
• Watching a memorial slideshow about his life can also bring back very warm memories. So, go watch it if there’s one available. Here's a video example to remind you about your friendship with your father-in-law:

 

 

 

 

Action Tip: Have you put down memories about him yet? Do that now and you would thank me later.

 

Let’s now…look at

How To Make The Most Of Father-In-Law Tribute Samples And Examples

 

I would like to thank Jeannette of Healthy Living for posting this example on her website.

 

Now, here you go:

Father-In-Law Eulogy Example

 

Paul immigrated to the United States in 1951, where he received his Master’s degree in engineering from the University of Michigan and his PhD from Columbia University.

 

He was a devoted husband, and was married to my mother-in-law for 50 years before her passing 4 years ago. Not only was he an extremely intelligent man, but one of the dearest, most loving men I have ever known.

I first met Paul 30 years ago when I first started dating my husband. He reminded me so much of my maternal grandfather, so sweet, gentle, and humble, and always the perfect gentleman. In all the years I’ve known him, I cannot recall a single moment where he raised his voice or complained about anything. 

 

From the beginning when I met him, he took me in as his own daughter and made me feel part of his family without any thought. I can still remember him dancing up such a storm at my wedding that I was scared he might have a heart attack (obviously, he had a lot more stamina than I realized!!).

 

My father-in-law (and mother-in-law) moved in with my family 8 years ago, following a hospitalization after which we realized he could no longer live on his own. Paul had Parkinson’s disease, a degenerative disease of the central nervous system, that can be slowed down with medication, but not stopped.

 

At the time my in-laws moved in with my family, I was completely overwhelmed as I had just given birth to my youngest son, with 7-year old twins and a 9-year old son. Selfishly, I wanted time to just be with my family, as I had finally made the decision to stay home with my children after 15 years in the financial services industry. 

 

Although there were definitely many tense and trying periods over the past 8 years as I adjusted to the additional responsibilities of taking care of my husband’s aging parents and the shift in family dynamics, I can say without any regret now that the past 8 years have been a treasured time in my life, my husband’s life, and my children’s lives.

 

My mother-in-law passed away over 4 years ago, and we were so fortunate to have my father-in-law for another 4 years. 

As a mother of 4 boys, ages 8 to 18, my father-in-law has touched each of their lives in ways that can not be expressed with words. Through his living example, he has taught them what it means to be a man of humility, honor, grace and faith.

 

We have so many wonderful memories with him that we will treasure for the years to come, all of them happy and joyful. Not only has he been an amazing father to my husband, but also an incredible role model to my sons.

With my father-in-law’s Parkinson’s Disease progressing over the years and his health failing, it has been difficult to watch. However, it has also brought our family closer together, and my boys will have beautiful memories of their grandfather for the rest of their lives.

 

 

I have been able to witness my dear sweet husband in another light, as a devoted, faithful and loving son to whom his father is his biggest hero. In fact, two years ago, he wrote a beautiful blog post dedicated to his dad, An Ode To Dad, long before I even knew what a blog was. 

 

My four sweet boys have grown up with a super star model grandfather, living a life of humility, faith and love, and are blessed to have a father, as my husband did, who has followed in his father’s footsteps. We will miss my father-in-law dearly, but I am confident that his legacy will live on in my husband, my sons, and future generations.

We have been so blessed to have my dear sister-in-law and brother-in-law who have been able to provide medical advice and hands on care whenever needed (an incredibly good reason to have a doctor in your family). 

 

 

We have also shared many special moments with my two nieces, especially during my mother-in-law and father-in-law’s illnesses, which have brought our families closer.

 

Although the circumstances under which our children drew closer might not seem ideal, the bond they have developed as a result of these shared experiences is inseparable.

 

And what about me? Although in some ways I feel like my life has been on hold for a while, I have learned to be more patient, to take one day at a time, and to be more compassionate. 

 

I have grown to understand that the past 8 years have not been a burden at all; in fact, it has been a true blessing for all of us. Yes, the past several months have been chaotic, stressful and exhausting; however, as I think about what it will be like next week when my husband returns to work, the kids are back in school, and I am left alone at home, I’m not sure how I will feel. The house will be so quiet, too quiet.

Although this is an incredibly difficult time for my family and a tough post to write, I feel it is so important for me to share what I have learned for those of you who might find yourself in a similar situation or know of someone who is, and I hope you will pass this along.

As my father-in-law’s Parkinson’s Disease progressed over the years, we had to adjust the foods that he was able to eat. Parkinson’s can affect a person’s ability to chew and swallow.

 

As a result, as his Parkinson’s Disease started to affect his ability to chew and swallow, my father-in-law’s wonderful caregiver and I experimented with foods that he was able to enjoy and kept him healthy.

Here are some of the foods we prepared for my father-in-law as his chewing and swallowing became increasingly challenging. These are foods that can be enjoyed by anyone on a soft food diet.

• Egg White Quiches
• Stir-Fry Tofu
• Steamed Fish with Tofu
• Yogurt
• Pudding
• Rice Pudding
• Tapioca Pudding
• Chocolate Tofu Pudding
• Mung Bean Tapioca Pudding
• Applesauce
• Mashed Sweet Potatoes
• Mashed Potatoes
• Jamaican Plantain Porridge
• Jamaican Corn Porridge
• Chinese Congee
• Oatmeal (ground up oatmeal made into porridge)
• Graham crackers or other whole grain crackers  soaked in milk
• Pumpkin, Banana or Corn Bread/Muffins mixed with low-fat milk into a porridge consistency
• Pancakes soaked in low-fat milk 
• Soft Scrambled Eggs, blended smooth
• Chinese Steamed Eggs
• Pureed Soups
• Fruit Sorbets (see below for recipe)
• Ice crushed in a blender into fine piece

 

 

Now, let’s figure out how the entire sample was written.

 

To make things fairly easy, you should first divide the above example into these parts:

• Introduction
• Body or Content Outline
• Conclusion or ending

 

The introduction has two main components:

• Greetings and expression of gratitude
• The hook

 

Let’s get into the first part: Greetings and expression of gratitude

• Greetings (Here’s an example)

Thank you so much for coming from far and near as we mourn the loss and celebrate the life of my beloved father-in-law, Jack Michaels, who was our family’s guiding light.

• Self-Introduction (Here’s another example)

For those of you who might know me, my name is Angelina, Mark’s daughter-in-law for the last 25 years!

 

 

• Expression of gratitude

 

Start by thanking the deceased’s family for asking you to speak.

Next, thank other personalities who have been a tremendous blessing in your father-in-law’s life. The gratitude list may include the following persons:  

• The surviving spouse
• His children
• Doctors and medical staff for their assistance

 

Here’s my homework assignment: Jot down the names of individuals you  would like to say thank you to and add why they deserve your words of gratitude.

 

The hook comes next. Its purpose is to Now, capture the attention of the mourners from the get go. Here are some simple ways to start on a strong note. 

 

First, start on a funny note. Here’s how a grieving son-in-law began his tribute.

Today, we are gathered here to mourn the passing of a great man who was like a second father to me. Most of you used to call him Peter The Rock. But, I used to call him Mr. Watermelon and there’s a nice little story about that which I would tell you about later on in my speech!

 

What, do you think made that short example hilarious? His Nickname!

Did he have one? Share it! Did he like to tease you? Share it and your family will thank you for giving them something to smile about on such a sad day.  

 

Why not sound a little more thoughtful by using witty lines and quotes? Just imagine how impactful your opening lines would be if you start off with any of these eulogy quotes. Please take note of the underlined words and phrases.

 

• “Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.”- Vicky Harrison

• “The greatest gift I ever had came from God, I call him Dad.”- Unknown

• "Let me tell you, he is the hole in my heart. His loss is my scar. But let me tell you something, his memory drives me forward every single day of my life."-Michelle Obama

• “No matter how old we are, we still need our dads, and wonder how we’ll get by without them.”- Jennifer Williamson

• “Whenever I am missing you, I also remember how fortunate I was that you were in my life. I wouldn’t trade those moments for the world.”- Cindy Adkins

 

Now, I am going to use the bolded text to write a short tribute for a beloved father-in-law.

 

God has been gracious to me and given me great gifts my whole life and that’s something I am eternally thankful for. But, Dean was the greatest gift of my life and we forged such a strong friendship that most people thought he was my real dad. His passionate love made me feel like he was my flesh and bone.

 

Now, he is gone and his loss is a deep scar in my heart. But, I also remember how fortunate I was that he was in my life and his memory drives me forward every single day of my life.

 

Did you notice how I fused those bolded words into the speech? That’s exactly how it is done.

 

Again, you can start with a touching poem or the favorite saying of the deceased.

 

 

Now, let us look at this…

 

How To Write The Content Of Your Father-In-Law’s Eulogy

 

Writing the body of your father-in-law’s eulogy is certainly not an easy task because it can quite frustrating to distill years of memories into a very short tribute speech when you are asked to make your eulogy succinct.

 

Here’s what I think it’s a perfect way of wrapping your head around this simple yet profound exercise. So grab your pen and sheet of paper and note pad and write down answers to the following questions.

 

• Do you remember how you felt when you first met your father-in-law? Write down that memory.
• How did he welcome you into his family and make you feel a part of it?
• What were your shared passions and interests?
• What was his influence on you and your whole family?
• Did you make many memories together? Do you recall any of them?
• What were his personal attributes or character traits? Write at least two or three of them and back them up with a few anecdotes.

 

Got a few ideas on paper? Ok. Good. The trick here is to try to cobble your responses together into a rough draft which you can always go back to polish up. And have you done that with the answers to those questions?

 

Don’t belittle yourself because you can! Just start with the ideas on this page. 

 

Finally, let’s look at the conclusion.

The conclusion can take one or more of these several forms.

First, thank everyone for coming to comfort the family.

 

Second, conclude by sharing how you will always remember him. This example can be a source of inspiration.

 

‘’ I never realized that day that I would never get to have another phone conversation with David, or that it was the last time I would tell him goodbye, but it was. David knew that life was short, and that’s why he took the time to celebrate life, spending every minute that he could with people that he loved. He was a wonderful man with a gentle spirit, and he will be missed. ‘’

 

Third, you can end with a song he used to sing if it’s somewhat related to your tribute. I did this once at my grandmas’ funeral and everyone loved it.

 

Were you by your father-in-law’s side when he died? What were his last words? For example, if he told you to take care of his wife. Then, you can render those words like this:

 

Mom, Dean carried your love with him to the grave. Before he passed he said to me, Martha, can you do me a quick favor?

He used to tell me that and I thought he was going to make fun of me. Instead, he said, Martha, I will be counting on you to stand by my wife until she joins me and before I knew it he was gone. Mom, I will do just as dad said. I promise.