Father of the Groom Speech or Toast: Here’s A Really Simple Recipe for Giving a Great Father of The Groom Wedding Speech Even If You Are at Loss for Words
Are you a father of the groom? And are you looking for great ideas and tips to help you write a heartfelt father of the groom speech?
Just stay with me for a while and I will share with you tips and ideas about…
- How to easily write a father of the groom speech
- How to get ideas for the content of your father of the groom wedding speech for your son and daughter-in-law
- How to write a bestman father of the groom speech if you are so close like best friends
- How to write a parents(mother and father) of the groom speech
...plus a whole lot of great ideas to help you know what to say and what not to say about your son
Are you ready to get started? If so, then go grab your pen and notepad or journal and jot down ideas you feel you can work into your own message as we get through this together.
Most people don’t know this. But there is a special kind of love between a father and his son that surpasses any other kind of love out there.
If you were very lucky to have spent quality time with your son, then you can be sure that your relationship has been very rewarding and enriching.
Please don’t worry if you were always on the road. You even don’t have to scratch your head about that and wonder how time has flown by so fast.
I think you still did your best as you worked so hard to provide for the family and I am sure if you could turn back the hands of time, you would have spent every minute with your precious son.
Whatever it is, you have to put the past behind you and focus on what you wish to say about your son and daughter-in-law at the wedding reception, rehearsal dinner, or even at the engagement party.
So, that leads me to this question on the minds of most fathers of grooms: What does the father of the groom say in his wedding speech?
That’s a great question to ask. That can only be possible if we first study one of the best father of the groom speech samples/examples so that we can use that as a template or model to come up with something sweet wedding speech for your son.
So, without further ado, let’s open our books and study this example with an open mind. You may take notes if you want to. Please study this slowly and carefully.
Here you go:
A Father of the Groom Wedding Speech Sample/ Example
Good evening and welcome everyone. Thank you so much for getting together today to celebrate Mary and Mike’s special day.
Of course I realize after the last year and a half, it wasn’t hard to convince you to come out all dressed up for any event...but still we are all excited that you are here.
What I’m trying to say is, if you really care about someone, the best gift you can give them is your time. You all have come from so far to grace this beautiful occasion and we are highly indebted to a few individuals who helped raise our son.
First, let me thank my wife and his mom for all she has done for Mike over the years. He is truly a mommas boy but that’s a great thing when you look at how she taught him the value of hard work and dedication to excellence and belief that he can achieve his goals.
A big thank you goes to Brenda’s sister Diana for giving our family and Mike all those amazing times at Big Bear and the free lift tickets at Snow Summit. All those years of fun times with family in the mountains, have helped to shape Mike into the adventure seeking person he is today.
Before Mike was born, Brenda and I didn’t know what to expect but all I know is life as we knew it wasn’t going to exist any longer.
We were a bit nervous. I mean we had practiced with a fur baby, a dog named Scratchy, but we knew a baby was going to be much harder.
What made it even more jittery was the fact that we didn’t know if our new arrival was a boy or girl and there were about 15 people at the hospital eagerly waiting to hear news of our baby’s arrival.
Finally, the tense waiting period was over and when word got out that we had a baby boy, everyone exploded into wild jubilation.
As new parents, we were up for anything but as a baby Mike was colicky and cried for about 6 hours straight each night. We got through that stage and even had another child who turned out to be an easy baby. She was our reward for all those sleepless nights with Mike.
When Mike was in middle school, he joined the surf club and I volunteered to drive him to the beach in the morning and could not believe how excited he was for surfing at 4:30.
He was always very good at school and sports like soccer and baseball and played a lot with kids in the neighborhood like Craig and Mark who are groomsmen today. He was also on varsity golf and varsity water polo in high school. We have always been very proud of him.
Nonetheless, I’ve always admired Mike’s bravery to explore new experiences and an opportunity to participate in Kmart commercial, directed by Spike Lee when Mike was in the 7th grade. What an experience this was and I saw him grow in confidence.
That growing sense of confidence plus his competitive spirit propelled him to work hard in school to get top grades and achieve his dream of becoming a doctor.
A testament to his dedication to hard work and belief he can achieve his goals from Brenda. I remember once when he was 8 years old, he was playing baseball and he swung the bat into his own leg. He started jumping around like someone had hit his funny bone. His mom just kept yelling “You can do it!” He went back up to the plate and hit the ball. That is the magic of my wife.
It’s such a heartfelt blessing to see Mike grow up from that a little kid to an absolutely wonderful man that we see before us today.
Through the ups and downs and in between, Mike has been a tremendous source of blessing and inspiration to the family and others.
Mike is a naturally kind person and always goes out of his way to help me, his mom and sister Amanda.
Mike, as parents, we have loved you and stood by you all these years as we strongly believed you that you deserve nothing but true love.
But we have always had it in mind someday you will have to spend the rest of your life with the person you cannot live without and she would be so lucky to have you in your life. And I hoped that you would find your own magical, beautiful wife like I did when I met your mom.
The more we got to know Mary, the more we felt she was that special one and the more we realized that Mike you are the lucky one to have Mary in your life.
She works hard too, and we are so proud of her. She’s studying now to become a pediatric dentist, which is amazing. Mary is caring and compassionate and supportive of Mike.
Family is important to her and I feel she will always put family first over herself. She is goal oriented and knows what it is like to sacrifice to achieve them.
Mike and Mary, we look forward to watching you both build your lives together in love and harmony. To always put each other first so your love wins in the end.
When you walk on this new path, remember others will join you, like us and Neil and Janie, maybe some kids of your own, friends, and even strangers. But all of us are destined to walk with you only for a short time.
So always stick together, walking hand in hand. Don’t let anyone come between you, and you will find yourselves happy for the rest of your lives.
Best wishes on this wonderful adventure, as you build your new lives together. There’s an old wedding blessing that says “May you have the love that never ends, lots of money, and lots of friends. Health be yours, whatever you do, and may God send many blessings to you!”
Now, please everyone raise your glasses and let’s propose a toast to Mitch and Mika aka Mr. & Mrs. Mitch Anderson! Cheers to the beginning of your forever. We love you both so very much!! Cheers!
Now, Let’s Start...
What grade would you give this writer? For me, he did an absolutely brilliant job and I think I would give him an A!
Seriously, he captured the main points of what makes a father of the groom speech tick. Believe it or not, it’s not too hard to write something close if not better than that.
Guess what most fathers do when they have to say a few words about their sons? They simply look up a few father of the groom speech examples and use that as a guide to making their endless thoughts flow onto the clean sheet paper.
If you start writing that way, you can run out of ideas unless you are a gifted writer or find your creative muse which is not always the case.
To start on a strong note and end on a memorable note, you need to have a plan, stick to that plan and work with it until you are done. So, first and foremost, you need to develop the theme or goal or objective of your message. This indicates the direction in which you want your ideas to go.
To get the theme of your speech, you should first ask yourself these simple questions with a view towards writing the content of your father of the groom wedding toast:
- Am I known to be a funny person? And can I really make my wedding toast very funny?
- Does my tear start flowing when I talk about my children? Should I make a sentimental toast?
- Doesn’t most father of the groom speeches sound the same at most weddings? And can I make mine a little different and memorable?
- Am I a very witty person? And should I make my speech in the form of a poem?
- I am known for my storytelling abilities. Should I simply tell a story about my son and the bride?
- Do I have a very nice voice? Can I write a short song about the bride and groom and just sing it the way I want to?
- Am I good enough to pick up bits and pieces of all the speech styles above and make it mine?
Now, let me ask you this: Which of those speech styles resonates best with you Picking one of them helps you stay focused on the goal. For example, if you are a naturally funny person, then you obviously are going to go for a funny father of the groom speech.
Once you have picked what you want, it will help make you less anxious or nervous before delving into the writing process itself.
This Is How the Writing Process Works
If you have no idea about how to start, then it makes a lot of sense to watch a few videos about how father of the groom speeches are delivered as they would give you an idea of what to expect and how to even deliver your toast with flair and confidence.
Thankfully, I found these great videos you can watch and learn from. So, please click on the play buttons on the videos below. Please get your notepad or journal in handy and jot down ideas that jump out at you as you watch them. You might want to watch all of them since they are short clips.
If you are in a hurry, then i suggest you watch one or two and scroll down for the remainder of the text.
Here you go:
Father of the Groom Speech Example---Video#1
Father of the Groom Speech Sample---Video#2
Parents of the Groom Speech Sample---Video#3
Which of the these videos did you find most interesting? I did enjoy the second presentation. Well, my friend, the wait is finally over. Let’s now look at…
How to Write an Amazing Father of the Groom Wedding Speech
If you scroll up the page and read that sample once more, you will realize that it has three main parts. Do you know what they are?
Ok, let me give you a hint. Your English teacher mentioned that when you are in high school. Ok, let’s get on with this if you have no clue. They are introduction, body or content of your speech, and the concluding remarks.
Let’s begin by looking at how to write your introductory remarks or address. We can cull excerpts of the above example to guide us every step of the way.
Here you go, man.
‘’ Good evening and welcome everyone. Thank you so much for getting together today to celebrate Mike and Mary’s special day.
Of course I realize after the last year and a half, it wasn’t hard to convince you to come out all dressed up for any event...but still we are all excited that you are here…
First, let me thank my wife and his mom for all she has done for Mike over the years.
He is truly a momma’s boy but that’s a great thing when you look at how she taught him the value of hard work and dedication to excellence and belief that he can achieve his goals… Before Mike was born, Brenda and I didn’t know what to expect but all I know is life as we knew it wasn’t going to exist any longer. ‘’
Did you see those bolded words? I have plans to use them soon as possible. So, please watch out for them in the course of this study.
Well, what can you say about that whole extract? If you take a look at it once again, you will realize that it basically consists of
- a short-self introduction
- greetings or salutation
- his relationship with the bride and groom
- and expression of gratitude.
Writing this aspect of your speech is fairly easy. But you should make sure it takes care of every person you wish to say thank you to.
Personalities like:
- Your wife and the mother of the groom
- His uncles and aunts
- His teachers and other figures who have helped shape him into the person he is today
- His grandparents…..if they are not alive, you can simply say: ‘’ They are not physically around. But I know they are here with us in spirits and feel so proud of who their grandson has become’’
- You can also mention the parents of the bride and thank them for welcoming your son into their family with open arms
- You may as well thank the event planners and everyone who helped plan the wedding.
Let me add this side note: If you are very close with the groom and you’ve been asked to be the best man at your son’s wedding, you can do things a little differently by thanking him, saying how honored you are that he picked you, and you may go on to tell a little story about when you first served as a best man if you have that experience and connect it to this one.
If there is a funny side of it, then you will be the speaker everyone will be rooting for even before you say something about your son at his wedding rehearsal dinner, reception, or at the engagement party speech.
Now, let’s go back and lift the underlined words we saw in that extract.
Here you go:
‘’ Before Mike was born, Brenda and I didn’t know what to expect but all I know is life as we knew it wasn’t going to exist any longer. ‘’
This sentence is more like a movie hook that grabs the viewers’ attention. Quite similar to what a reader might expect when they begin to soak in a spell-binding novel.
Right after you have greeted the wedding audience, your opening remarks should do a very good job at making them come along with you from the start to the end of your father of the groom wedding speech.
So, how then do you get them to hang onto every word you say? It’s pretty easy you know.
Most fathers dive right by starting with a story about their child’s childhood. I think the reason most people follow this route is because that’s what most people are already accustomed to listening to.
However, there are always better ways of opening your speech with a bang. Here are a couple of ways of doing that.
First, you can start with a prayer or a simple blessing if you are a Christian or your family is rooted in the faith before you actually deliver your speech.
Here’s an example culled from The Love To Know Website:
Dear Lord, we gather in this place in a spirit of celebration and gratitude. Thank you for the blessing of bringing (name) and (name) together in marriage today. We ask you to bless their marriage, their family, and all of their relationships. Help them stay strong in any adversity, and to treasure and protect the joy of marriage.
Second, you can launch into the story by giving a detailed account of what happened before your son was born and what transpired afterwards. Once again, the bolded sample above illustrates this point.
Third, if you are the emotional type of guy, you can possibly start with a story about how you felt when you got married to the groom’s mother before relating it with your own son’s wedding.
Here’s a classic example:
When we were growing up, my dad used to sing this song about how strange love is. I can’t remember who composed that song but dad loved it.
I particularly loved the lyrics. But it wasn’t until I got married to my wife in 1985 that I really understood why Johnnie’s grandfather used to hum this song. There are a few lines from that song that still stands out for me though.
Part of it says that if you are lucky, you and your son will find love in the same place. Guess what? My son and his fiancé went to Olen College which is where my wife and I met and started dating in 1989…
Fourth, are you a crooner? Or can you play a musical instrument? If so, you can write a little song about your son’s life and practice singing it and all eyes will be on you. This music video can serve as a shining inspiration.
Fifth, are you known to be a witty person by family and friends? Then, it’s best to use some good quotes to enrich your wedding toast.
Below are a few quotes you may use to sound smart.
- “A son can change his father from being selfish to selfless.’’- Unknown author
- “Becoming a dad means you have to be a role model for your son and be someone he can look up to.” – Wayne Rooney
- “I hope I can be as good of a father to my son as my dad was to me.” – Calvin Johnson
- "Daddies don’t just love their children every now and then, it’s a love without end."-George Strait
- "Of all the titles I’ve been privileged to have, 'Dad' has always been the best."- Ken Norton
Sixth, you can start with a joke. Here's an example
This beautiful couple have the world at their feet today, don’t
they? Someone very wise once said, “Marriage
is a partnership where each partner secretly
believes that they got the better deal.” I can’t
say which of you is correct in that, because both
of you are quite the catch!
I think I have showed you several examples to inspire you to come up with your own introductory remarks.
But can you actually use one of the above quotes to write something engaging? Ok. I still want to help you out. So, let’s try and use George Strait’s quote to write a short example so you can get a fair idea about how it's done.
"Daddies don’t just love their children every now and then, it’s a love without end."
Here you go:
When I was in college, I read this quote by a wise man that says: Daddies don’t just love their children every now and then. It’s a love without end. I loved that quote so much that I cut it out from my favorite magazine and stuck it to the back of my car because it truly depicted the love my father had for his own children.
I remember going back home to visit dad and when he asked me why I had that note stuck to the back of my car. I just looked him in the eye and told him that it was a reminder of how blessed and proud we were to have him in our lives.
That brought tears to his eyes and I remember him telling me to make sure that my children and my wife will be my top most priority when I start my own family someday.
His words never slipped out of my mind and I remember thinking about them deeply as I drove miles back to campus to graduate college.
Well, when I was about to get married, we were lucky to have him with us and when Mike our first child came to my life, he was also with us in the hospital. When you were finally born, he looked at me with a smile and simply reminded me about those words.
That spurred me on and when baby Mike was only a day old, I held in my arms and told my new baby boy that I would sacrifice my all to give him a future he truly deserves.
That was it. Now, let’s look at…
How To Write The Content Or Outline For Your Toast
This is obviously the easiest part to write and deliver because it’s all inside your head. I am sure you can easily recall all those beautiful stories about your son's life without blinking an eye.
Nevertheless, I have seen through observation and practice how most fathers goof when presented with an opportunity to say something about their sons on the wedding day.
This usually stems from the fact that most fathers don’t actually plan what they really want to say. You know, most speakers have lots of memorable anecdotes that they get confused with knowing which stories to use and even where to even start from.
To stop this from happening, you first have to get an outline or bullet points of what you want to say. By this I mean, dividing your stories into these three parts:
- Your son’s toddler years
- Your son’s teenage years
- His growing up years
After you have written them down on paper, sit back and jot down as many stories as you can remember about each of those stages of his life.
As you do that, pick out which stories you really want to use and don’t forget to write about the kind of man he’s grown into. Don’t forget to mention his beautiful qualities and use one or two of them to illustrate why you think he’s going to an amazing husband and dad.
Here’s an example to buttress the above idea:
Eric has grown from the little boy who used to dance around the house like a happy duck into compassionate young man and I am very confident that he will become an amazing husband and dad to Anita and her sons.
Say Something about Your Daughter-In- Law Too
Whether you like the bride or not, your speech won’t be complete without saying a few remarks about who your daughter-in-law is, what her special qualities are, and what she brings into the marriage.
If you have known her for a considerable period of time, then you can write some really good points about her.
Well, if you really don’t like her personality or you think she’s not the right lady for your son, you can just dwell on her fine attributes or make a sweeping statement about her without stating the obvious.
Finally,
You’ve Got To End Your Father of The Groom Speech on a Memorable Note
How do you do that ? It’s actually simple. I am going to share with you just a few tips for closing your speech on a very resounding note.
First, you can end with a simple toast like this one:
May the time you have together for the rest of your life, be as passionate as your heartfelt the first time you said to each other i love you. May you always years for the touch of each other's hand and the look you see when only the both of you know what the other is thinking.
Here’s to Mike and Alice ! L’chaim!
Second, you can wrap up by gifting the couple a very nice gift. I once wrote a funny wedding speech where I asked the speaker to give the couple an insect repellant considering that the bride hated spiders with such a passion and this approach worked like a charm. But, you can do things differently by giving a very special gift that will outlast time. Can you think of a good fit?
For example, you can frame the advice part of your wedding speech and gift it to the couple. Will that work for you? Ok, just do what you are comfortable with.
Third, you can offer a few words of advice from a father to his son about marriage. Here’s an example.
‘’Love alone is not a reason good enough to get married. Marriage is an extremely close and intricate bond. Though necessary, love is not sufficient for a successful marriage.
Understanding, compatibility, trust, respect, commitment, support are some of the other attributes necessary for a long and happy marriage.’’
P.S: Most dads do this...Have you considered it? Want to write and give a great wedding speech like the one above but can't seem to get started because you don't know the exact words to use?
Or not too sure if what you intend writing will be well received by the guests?
Let's help you make your son, wife, and family proud, and let the wedding guests say great things about your speech.
Here’s what one nervous and skeptical dad called Glen sent over after the wedding was over
Hey Dan, I just wanted to thank you once again for the speech you wrote with me. My goal was met afterward, I was told by many "what a beautiful speech" and received a standing ovation. I couldn't have done this without you. God Bless Dan!- Glen, U.S.A
Want to know how he did just that? He got on board our wedding speech program and one of our talented speech consultants helped him out.
Want to get on board? You should by first clicking here to fill out this short and simple form.
This is letter a dad sent to us after we helped him deliver his speech(Please click on it to enlarge if you can't see it)
Ok, Is This Offer For Me?
- Yes, if you are expecting nothing less than a very special, beautiful, unique and memorable speech.
- Yes, if you are overwhelmed by the pressures of work and don’t have the time to put together a very meaningful speech, so you can have peace of mind
- Yes, if you want your family, children, friends, and wedding guests to shower you with very sincere compliments…just imagine how you will feel
- Yes, if you are not good with words and you feel you’re not a natural writer and you are struggling to find the right words but still want to give a great speech.
- Yes, you get so scared anytime you’re asked to say something before an audience and you really want to save yourself from any form of embarrassment on your son’s big day.
- Yes, if you are not too eloquent or not too sure if you are on the right track.
- Yes, if you absolutely hate speaking in public or feel this is not your thing but you want to make your son feel very proud
- Yes, if you have a day or less to the wedding and you are worried that you might make some horrible mistakes
- Yes, if you are a good speaker but you still want someone to look over or review what you've come up with!
Wedding not too far away? Or happening in less than 24 hours? Trust me, we can deliver! it doesn’t matter if your speech is today, tomorrow, next week, next month ,next year,... we can make things work for you
Just imagine leaving your entire presentation in the hands of skilled wedding speech consultants who will take away your pain of spending hours thinking hard and long about what to say and what not to say.
Also, envision being patiently guided to say something that will leave a favorable impression on the mind of your listeners.
And also imagine the thrill and feeling of excitement and pride you’re going to experience when the audience leap onto their feet and scream and shouts and even sing your praises.
Won’t you love that? I hope you do...
Ok, I am Interested, What’s the Cost?
You simply pay what you want after you’ve got your beautiful speech.
Why? As you know, the current health crisis has caused severe hardships for most people.
Precious lives have been lost, jobs wiped out and families displaced, leaving everyone wondering what the future holds.
Yet, some sons are still getting married and asking their fathers to give speeches.
Nonetheless, not every father could afford our services even before the pandemic suddenly hit us.
So, we have dropped our normal rates so you can simply pay what you want after you have got your beautiful speech.
Please note: When life gets back to normal, this offer will be scrapped for good.
So, please take advantage of it now even if your son’s big day is in the future.
Even though we are going through this crazy time, if you do a poor job at it, your speech will be captured on video and your son and daughter-in-law and other viewers will forever remember what you said and would not attribute your poor performance to the fact there was a deadly disease in town.
So, please take advantage of it now even if your son’s big day is in the future by simply paying what you want after you get your beautiful speech.
This is another letter a dad sent to us after we helped him deliver his speech(Please click on it to enlarge if you can't see it)
Oh Ok, How Then Do I Get Started Since I Want To Get On Board Right Away?
Ok, here’s how it works
All you have to do RIGHT NOW is to click on this link to receive an easy-to-fill-in questionnaire via email. Check your email a few hours after you’ve submitted your request for your questionnaire.
So,
- After that, we will send you a very short questionnaire to fill out via email! You only have to check your email a few hours after you have made your request.
- Then, you fill out the questionnaire sent through your email and please have it sent back to us…
- We will confirm receipt of it…If something is not too clear, we will ask you to clarify….
- If not, we will send you a wonderful draft in a couple of hours if this on very short notice….If not, after a few days
- Then, you look it over and tell us if you are okay with it or you want to amend or revise it till you are happy with it--although we always get it right even with the first draft
- Then, we ask you to pay for it
Please note: The information collected through the questionnaire is only for the purpose of writing your speech. I wouldn’t even need it if I could read your mind. So, your information is very confidential and no one will know about it.
Just a reminder of what you pay after it’s duly completed.
You simply pay what you want after you’ve got your beautiful speech.
Why? As you know, the current health crisis has caused severe hardships for most people.
Precious lives have been lost, jobs wiped out and families displaced, leaving everyone wondering what the future holds.
Yet, some sons are still getting married and asking their fathers to give speeches.
Nonetheless, not every father could afford our services even before the pandemic suddenly hit us.
So, we have dropped our normal rates so you can simply pay what you want after you have got your beautiful speech.
Please note: When life gets back to normal, this offer will be scrapped for good.
So, please take advantage of it now even if your son’s big day is in the future.
Even though we are going through this crazy time, if you do a poor job at it, your speech will be captured on video and your son and daughter-in-law and other viewers will forever remember what you said and would not attribute your poor performance to the fact there was a deadly disease in town.
So, please take advantage of it now even if your son’s big day is in the future by simply paying what you want after you get your beautiful speech.
Please note: Your speech draft comes with a proven and simple tip to master your speech or remember your speech just as you want it without carrying a paper with you.
Just see what someone said about that great tip that's proven to calm your nerves and help you speak with purpose, poise, and clarity!
''Hi Dan,
The speech went very well, I modified it a bit and practiced it as you suggested (great advice). Thanks for all your help and if I need a prepared speech again I’ll definitely contact you.
All the best,
Matt''
Please note: Don’t fill out this form if you’re a dishonest individual. This offer is for a limited time.
So, CLICK HERE TO GET STARTED NOW TO GET YOUR GREAT SPEECH NOW BY FILLING OUT A QUESTIONNAIRE---you only pay after your beautiful speech has been delivered. So, you can have peace of mind and not lose money. The risk is on us!
You don't have to worry about paying our per speech for now.
Forget about money and let’s write something for you. We believe in the values of honesty and integrity and we think you should be happy with our work first.
So, Here Are The Benefits You Get When You Get On Board!
- A great speech written by our wedding speech consultants that reflects what you want to say exactly
- We coach you on how to use your voice to make your speech very exciting.
- We show you a simple but often overlook strategy to rehearse your speech even if you have a very poor memory. This method is used by great speakers like Obama and was used by Abraham Lincoln and his compatriots
- The most effective way to get your entire speech into your head without memorizing your speech. Guaranteed to help you even if you have a very poor memory or your memory is like a gold fish…most of our clients still wonder where we got this idea from. This ensures that you don't read off a sheet of paper...
Just see what someone said about that great tip that's proven to calm your nerves and help you speak with purpose, poise, and clarity!
''Hi Dan,
The speech went very well, I modified it a bit and practiced it as you suggested (great advice). Thanks for all your help and if I need a prepared speech again I’ll definitely contact you.
All the best,
Matt''
- Ways to include humor in your speech and what it takes to do so
So, CLICK HERE TO GET STARTED NOW TO GET YOUR GREAT SPEECH NOW BY FILLING OUT A QUESTIONNAIRE---you only pay after your beautiful speech has been delivered. So, you can have peace of mind and not lose money. The risk is on us!
Remember, you have to see your speech first before you pay. So, you can relax and let us sweat it out at our expense!