Funny Bride Wedding Speech: How This Short Funny Bride Toast Example Can Easily Help You Write The Best Bride Wedding Speech Ever
Want to write a funny bride's speech? Not too sure how to write a hilarious bride wedding speech without offending anyone? This piece will show you how to use proven ideas and tips to help say what is on your heart without trying so hard.
Before we do, let us look at this story.
The story is told of two young German girls who moved to the United States of America to study.
While there, Annette, the younger of the two dropped out of college because she couldn’t afford to pay her tuition anymore. Being a chef at a local restaurant, her wages was not enough to pay for her education.
Amanda, on the other hand, didn’t go to college at all when they both arrived in the United States. Being an Au-pair helped her to improve her speaking skills.
In time, Annette had a scholarship to study English as a second language for excelling in sports.
Having received her award, she was asked to address some students. Instead of saying Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you very much… she said:’’ Ladies and Gentlemen Spank you vely mush.’’
As she spoke those words, her listeners guffawed, and her tutors couldn’t hide their smiles and she also joined in the fun!
It so happened that Annette was getting her English lessons right. But she was very nervous when she appeared before the audience. She'd never done that before.
Your wedding is a special milestone in your life, and what you say on that day will not only make you respected and admired but, it will speak volumes about your love for the groom.
Granted, very few brides are able to put down their thoughts in an entertaining way.
If you really want to throw the guests off their seats with laughter, then, what I am going to share with you will help you deliver a funny bride speech even if you have not made a little baby giggle with delight.
Before we do, here are a few things you should know. If you are not a naturally funny person or a very endearing character, you can still make headway by figuring out how hilarious speeches are done.
You can get an idea of how to get the right ideas and youtube videos contain plenty of proven ideas you can adapt for your funny bride wedding toast.
By the way, below are two video clips you can watch for inspiration. Just grab your pen and journal or diary and jot down tips and ideas you find really helpful from the clips you are about to watch.
Funny bride speech video#1
Funny bride speech video#2
I hope you enjoyed watching the videos as much as I did.
If you are a book worm or not a visually inclined person, then I recommend you rather check out this funny bride wedding speech toast example below:
I thought I’d read a poem. But, the only one I know well is The Dogs Party which, having been taught to me by my late farming father, is highly inappropriate for today.”
Those of you who know me probably aren’t surprised that I wanted to say a few words today – and those of you who know me really well will be surprised if it is only a few words!
I’d like to begin by thanking some very special people:
To my stunningly beautiful daughter, Georgina, I’d like to apologize that my big hat occasion has come first. I want to thank her for loving and valuing Ken and witnessing my marriage to him today. Please accept a small token in memory of the occasion.
To Pam and Ted, whose special year we have hijacked, congratulations on achieving 60 years of marriage! Thank you for making me feel like a valued member of your family, for your many kindnesses, and for being so tolerant of my industrial language.
To Pam and Ted, whose special year we have hijacked, congratulations on achieving 60 years of marriage!
To Neil, my grateful thanks for his superb best man duties which I have every confidence will be executed to an unsurpassable standard. Please accept this small gift as a token of my appreciation.
To dear friends who I don’t see often enough, thank you for coming today it means so much.
And, finally, an enormous thank you to my big sister Pauline. She has come out of retirement to be the unsung heroine of our farming business taking care of our pigs on a daily basis. She is always there for any extravagance I lay at her feet and often at short notice.
Now, a few things about my sister Pauline you need to know first, she was always more elegant and clothes orientated than me so it has probably taken her many years to forget the humiliating walk she and I had to make as little girls, wearing summer frocks and wellington boots because I forgot the bag containing our sandals. On another occasion, her lovely clothes had green stains on them because my pony ate anything she put on the clothesline.
Paul, I don’t say it often enough, thank you. Please accept this small token of appreciation from Ken and me.
Right, having decided to strike a blow towards becoming a 21st-century woman by making a speech at my wedding, I thought I’d read a poem. But, the only one I know well is The Dogs Party which, having been taught to me by my late farming father, is highly inappropriate for today.
Instead, I shall talk a little about my fantastic new husband – doesn’t my sexy, bald bloke scrub up well, eh?
It was a cold and miserable December night when a pathetic figure clutching two suitcases, a shotgun, and a Bowie knife, knocked on the door of my flat in Carmarthen.
Having then agreed to take him in, I realized I was going to have to feed him and the only suitable cooking vessel I had in which to make a lasagne was a 2lbs cake tin! I sat in near silence that evening and watched Ken demolish almost the entire contents of the tin, but he left the green beans. Oh boy, I thought, he’s going to take some feeding.
Later that evening came another knock on my flat door. It was a male colleague who thought I might be lonely. I invited him in and told him he would be welcome to join us for supper but Ken had eaten all the lasagne and there were only beans and he couldn’t eat too many of those because I needed to save some for the next day as Ken had blown my housekeeping budget.
We had a few drinks too many so when it got too late for him to leave we offered him to stay the night. With only having one double bed, he had to bunk in with us. We’d been in bed half an hour or so and there was another knock at the door to my flat.
Ken, armed now with his Bowie knife, went to investigate so I said to my colleague, “Quick, we’re on our own now’s your chance!” He jumped out of bed, ran to the fridge, and ate all the beans!
Thankfully Ken has an appetite for everything that makes up my complicated life and when I brought him to live in my beloved Gower, he fit in like he’d always belonged here.
Regrettably, my Dad didn't meet Ken, but I know he would have approved and liked him especially because he could get electrical things for free.
Regrettably, my Dad didn’t meet Ken, but I know he would have approved and liked him especially because he could get electrical things for free. Safe in this knowledge, after a 14-year courtship, and on yet another dreary winter’s night, I screwed up my courage and asked him to marry me. Thankfully he said yes.
Ken owns a pair of socks that have the definition of his name printed on them. It apparently means ‘noble and kind’. Ken is much more than that, he is everything I could wish for in a husband and I appreciate my good fortune in meeting such a warm-hearted, loving, funny, dependable, and generous man whose values and spirit match mine.
I appreciate my good fortune in meeting such a warm-hearted, loving, funny, dependable, and generous man whose values and spirit match mine.
I am very grateful too that he adores my farm and is prepared to devote his time and energy to its success. He endures the weekly separation my transient working life presents with admirable domesticity and now prepares lasagne for me! He is my rock, my comfort, and my best friend who I love deeply. Ken – I look forward to growing much older with you by my side.
Family and friends will you charge your glasses and please join me in a toast to my new husband Ken!
Can you imagine writing a great bride wedding speech like that one if not better? You can actually do it and I am going to show you how it can be done by breaking that example down bit by bit.
First, let’s look at parts of the introduction and see what actually went into writing that funny bride's speech.
Here you go:
‘….I’d like to begin by thanking some very special people:
To my stunningly beautiful daughter, Georgina, I’d like to apologise that my big hat occasion has come first. I want to thank her for loving and valuing Ken and witnessing my marriage to him today. Please accept a small token in memory of the occasion….To Pam and Ted, whose special year we have hijacked, congratulations on achieving 60 years of marriage!
To Neil, my grateful thanks for his superb best man duties which I have every confidence will be executed to an unsurpassable standard. Please accept this small gift as a token of my appreciation….
And, finally, an enormous thank you to my big sister Pauline. She has come out of retirement to be the unsung heroine of our farming business taking care of our pigs on a daily basis. She is always there for any extravagance I lay at her feet and often at short notice. ‘’
As you have seen from the underlined phrases, the introductory remarks comprise of expressing gratitude to persons who have contributed to making you who you are today as well others who helped plan your wedding day.
Well, I wished this bride had told us her name, but she didn’t. You see, even if you are introduced by the emcee or are the preceding speaker, it makes a lot of sense to let the wedding guests know your name and your relationship with the groom as wedding speech etiquette demands it.
Now, let me ask you this simple question: Which persons do you want to express gratitude to for their love and support over the years?
Hint: You should thank your mother or father(parents) your brothers and sisters, friends, maid of honor or bridesmaid, in-laws, and so on.
Most brides or even wedding speakers, in general, don’t know that the introductory remarks are in two parts: expression gratitude plus remarks that will grab hearts more convincingly.
A lot of people hold this view that most bride wedding speeches are not very entertaining. That’s true because a whole lot of them don’t start with a bang.
If you are not going to start on a bright note, you will be reinforcing their long-held beliefs and they will tune out even if the rest of your toast is like music to the ears.
This afternoon, I want to share with you some tips and ideas you can use to get everyone’s attention.
First, you can dive right in by sharing a story of how you met the groom. This is an extremely popular approach used by the majority of brides.
Second, you can burst out into a song almost everyone can sing along to and your speech will be very memorable.
Third, you can start on a heartfelt by using love or friendship quotes like these ones:
“There is no greater happiness for a man than approaching a door at the end of a day knowing someone on the other side of that door is waiting for the sound of his footsteps.”- Ronald Reagan
“When I saw you, I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew.”-Arrigo Boito
“One day, in your search for happiness, you discover a partner by your side, and you realize that your happiness has come to help you search.”-Robert Brault
“I love her and that’s the beginning and end of everything.” The Great Gatsby
“The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.” Moulin Rouge
Now, let’s see how we can use one of them to come up with a short bride speech example. I prefer using Reagan’s quote:
“There is no greater happiness for a man than approaching a door at the end of a day knowing someone on the other side of that door is waiting to hear the sound of his footsteps.”
Watch me carefully to see how I do it.
A wise man said that there is no greater happiness for a woman than knowing someone on the other side of that door is waiting to hear the sound of her footsteps. That’s so true. But it’s actually funny how that played out in my own life while returning home from work one late summer afternoon. As I was approaching a door leading to...
Don’t you think that will be enough to arouse the curiosity of the wedding attendees? Did you notice I made the quote mine by substituting a few words here and there without calling attention to the author of that quote?
I did that on purpose because I wanted to make those lines very personal. That is how it should be done in case you decide to start with something witty.
Fourth, you may kick off with a funny poem.
Fifth, if your husband is from another country where English is a second language and his family will be coming or watching the live feed, you can learn to simply greet them in their own language and you will get some good laughs out of that.
Now, let’s see how to write the content or body of your funny bride wedding speech.
As usual, let’s see snippets of it to guide us along the way.
‘’ It was a cold and miserable December night when a pathetic figure clutching two suitcases, a shotgun, and a Bowie knife, knocked on the door of my flat in Carmarthen.
Having then agreed to take him in, I realized I was going to have to feed him and the only suitable cooking vessel I had in which to make a lasagne was a 2lbs cake tin!’’
Oh my goodness, this bride's speech really made me laugh and I especially love the narration of meeting him and having to feed him afterward.
Did you enjoy it, too? It is one of the best bride wedding speech toast I have ever heard or read and quite different than a whole lot of most speeches given by brides to their grooms.
By the way, here are some ideas to help you put together the content or body of your bride’s speech for your handsome.
Once again, please grab a pen and paper and write down answers to the following questions to help you draft the structure of your speech.
- Where did you meet him?
- How did you meet him?
- What drew him to your side?
- What were the early years like?
- What are some fun moments you wish to share?
- Why do you really love him?
- Are there any challenges you faced? Sharing that can make your toast very memorable.
- What are your promises to the groom?
Now, this is what I want you to do now. Write as many points as you can remember right from the very first time you met him till he went down on one knee. Since you are going to make a funny wedding speech, you have to dwell on bringing up funny memories about the time you have spent together.
Afterward, pour out your personal thoughts and emotions onto a paper. At first, it might look messy, but don’t worry at all about that because you can always go back to edit it until you are completely happy with it.
Please note: Don’t force it if there’s no humor about your story. Just pick a style you are comfortable with and everyone will appreciate you for doing a great job.
Depending on your personality, you can choose to write in a witty style, intelligent, dramatic, tender, poetic, rhythmic, or even narrative as the guests are able to relate to your speech if you go for a style that reflects who you truly are and not what you think the guests will like you to do.
That said, let us see how to write the ending or conclusion of your bride wedding speech.
Once again, let’s see parts of the conclusion so we can figure out how to write a memorable ending since a very good one will more than likely remain in the minds of the wedding guests for years on end.
‘’ I appreciate my good fortune in meeting such a warm-hearted, loving, funny, dependable, and generous man…..
I am very grateful too that he adores my farm and is prepared… He is my rock, my comfort, and my best friend who I love deeply. Ken – I look forward to growing much older with you by my side.
Family and friends will you charge your glasses and please join me in a toast to my new husband Ken!''
As you can see, the ending of any bride's speech is just as important as its introduction. Yet, most brides don’t attach too much importance to it because they either don’t know the essence of it or are clueless about writing one.
These few pointers can help you write something the groom, your family, and friends won’t forget anytime soon.
First, you can close by stating why you love him.
Second, you can end by telling everyone how you complement each other. Below is an example:
I think Dan and I complement each other very well. Dan is like a robot. He is hard-working, conscientious, and is always up for a challenge. And I often am that challenge.
Did you see how I compare their different personalities?
Third, you can end with a poem about love. Here is one by Mr. Unknown
I can't promise you
that dark clouds
will never hover
over our lives
or that the future
will bring us any rainbows.
I can't promise you
that tomorrow
will be perfect
or that life will be easy.
I can promise you
my everlasting devotion,
my loyalty, my respect,
and my unconditional love for a lifetime.
I can promise that
I'll always be here for you,
to listen and to hold your hand,
and I'll always do my best to make you happy,
and make you feel loved.
I can promise that
I'll see you through any crisis,
and pray with you,
dream with you,
build with you,
and always cheer you on.
I can promise that
I'll willingly be your protector,
your advisor, your counselor,
your friend, your family,
your everything.
I promise you.
— Unknown
Can you personalize that? You better try…It’s not a tough job.
Here’s an example based on that poem.
Like every marriage, I know we will have our low and high moments,
So I promise to always love you, honor you….
Fourth, you can simply state why you are looking forward to with him in the coming years.
Fifth, you can make good use of bible quotes to write a faith-based bride speech if you are a religious person or a Christian. Here are some scriptures you can use if you are a believer.
Ephesians 5:25-‘’ Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her’’
Proverbs 12:4 – “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who shames him is as rottenness in his bones.” Marriage is a life-long covenant between a man and a woman to live as one flesh, for their mutual benefit, and for the bearing of children.
Ephesians 5:22-33- ‘’Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word.’’
Psalm 128: 1- ‘’Blessed are all who fear the LORD, who walk in his ways. You will eat the fruit of your labor; blessings and prosperity will be yours. Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your sons will be like olive shoots around your table. Thus is the man blessed who fears the LORD.’’
Sixth, if you really want to make your speech one to remember, you can sing your closing lines. For example, you can write why you love the groom and sing and dance to the beat of a well-known song.
Finally, you can end with any of these promises about your commitment to the marriage. Below are some quotes from movies and TV episodes you can use to write your vows or promises to the special man in your life.
Rachel Getting Married: Rachel and Sidney
Rachel: You are just so full of grace, and I promise before God and these beautiful people that I will love you fiercely and sweetly. And I look forward to sharing this great life with you. Thank you for marrying me.
Sidney: All that I ever wanted was to just hear music, and when I met you, I heard you. And, Rachel, you're the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Thank you for marrying me.
Madea's Family Reunion: Vanessa and Frankie
Vanessa: I never thought that I could meet someone like you. You are my friend. You are my smile. You are my everything. You are a breathtaking reflection of God's heart for me...of how he pursued me and loved me even when I didn't love myself. You held my hand in the darkness, and you pulled me out into the light. I love you.
Frankie: You are my light. And it doesn't matter what happens in this life as long as you're with me. When I look at you, I know that there's a God and that he loved me so much that he took the time to create you just for me. I love you...past my mind...beyond my heart...I love you for my soul. And that's the space where only you and God dwell.
The Vow: Paige and Leo
Paige: I vow to help you love life, to always hold you with tenderness, and to have the patience that love demands. To speak when words are needed and to share the silence when they are not. To agree to disagree on red velvet cake, and to live within the warmth of your heart and always call it home.
Leo: I vow to fiercely love you in all of your forms, now and forever. I promise to never forget this is a once in a lifetime love. And to always know in the deepest part of my soul that no matter what challenges might carry us apart, we will always find our way back to each other.
P.S: Most brides do this...Have you ever considered it? Want to write and give a great wedding speech like the one above but can't seem to get started because you don't know the exact words to use?
Or not too sure if what you intend writing will be well received by the guests?
Let's help you make the groom and your family and friends proud and let the wedding guests say great things about your speech.
Here’s what one nervous person called Glen sent over after the wedding was over.
Hey Dan, I just wanted to thank you once again for the speech you wrote with me. My goal was met afterward, I was told by many "what a beautiful speech" and received a standing ovation. I couldn't have done this without you. God Bless Dan!- Glen, U.S.A
Want to know how he did just that? He got on board our wedding speech program and one of our talented speech consultants helped him out.
Want to get on board? You should by filling out this short form!
Ok, Is This Offer For Me?
- Yes, if you are expecting nothing less than a very special, beautiful, unique, and memorable speech.
- Yes, if you are overwhelmed by the pressures of work and don’t have the time to put together a very meaningful speech, so you can have peace of mind
- Yes, if you want your family, your husband, friends, and wedding guests to shower you with very sincere compliments…just imagine how you will feel
- Yes, if you are not good with words and really struggling to find the right words but still want to give a great speech.
- Yes, you get so scared anytime you’re asked to say something before an audience and you really want to save yourself from any form of embarrassment on your wedding day.
- Yes, if you are not too eloquent or not too sure if you are on the right track.
- Yes, if you absolutely hate speaking in public or feel this is not your thing but you want to make your husband feel very proud
- Yes, if you have a day or less to the wedding and you are worried that you might make some horrible mistakes
- Yes, if you are a good speaker but you still want someone to look over or review what you've come up with!
Wedding not too far away? Or happening in less than 24 hours? Trust me, we can deliver! it doesn’t matter if your speech is today, tomorrow, next week, next month, next year,... we can make things work for you
Just imagine leaving your entire presentation in the hands of skilled wedding speech consultants who will take away your pain of spending hours thinking hard and long about what to say and what not to say.
Also, envision being patiently guided to say something that will leave a favorable impression on the mind of your listeners.
And also imagine the thrill and feeling of excitement and pride you’re going to experience when the audience leaps onto their feet and screams and shouts and even sing your praises.
Won’t you love that? I hope you do...
Ok, I am Interested, What’s the Cost?
You simply pay what you want after you’ve got your beautiful speech.
Why? As you know, the current health and economic crisis have caused severe hardships for most people.
Precious lives have been lost, jobs wiped out and families displaced, leaving everyone wondering what the future holds.
Yet, some couples are still getting married and giving speeches like never before.
Nonetheless, not everyone could afford our services even before the pandemic suddenly hit us.
So, we have dropped our normal rates so you can simply pay what you want after you have got your beautiful speech.
Please note: When life gets back to normal, this offer will be scrapped for good.
So, please take advantage of it now even if your big day is in the future.
Even though we are going through this crazy time, if you do a poor job at it, your speech will be captured on video, and the groom, your friends and family, and other viewers will forever remember what you said and would not attribute your poor performance to the fact there was a deadly disease in town.
So, please take advantage of it now even if your big day is in the future by simply paying what you want after you get your beautiful speech.
Oh Ok, How Then Do I Get Started Since I Want To Get On Board Right Away?
Ok, here’s how it works
All you have to do RIGHT NOW is to click on this link to receive an easy-to-fill-in questionnaire via email. Check your email a few hours after you’ve submitted your request for your questionnaire.
So,
- After that, we will send you a very short questionnaire to fill out via email! You only have to check your email a few hours after you have made your request.
- Then, you fill out the questionnaire sent through your email, and please have it sent back to us…
- We will confirm receipt of it…If something is not too clear, we will ask you to clarify….
- If not, we will send you a wonderful draft in a couple of hours if this on very short notice….If not, after a few days
- Then, you look it over and tell us if you are okay with it or you want to amend it till you are happy with it--although we always get it right even with the first draft
- Then, you pay for it
Just a reminder of what you pay after it’s duly completed.
You simply pay what you want after you’ve got your beautiful speech.
Why? As you know, the current health and economic crisis have caused severe hardships for most people.
Precious lives have been lost, jobs wiped out and families displaced, leaving everyone wondering what the future holds.
Yet, some brides are still getting married and have to say something about the groom.
Nonetheless, not everyone could afford our services even before the pandemic suddenly hit us.
So, we have dropped our normal rates so you can simply pay what you want after you have got your beautiful speech.
Please note: When life gets back to normal, this offer will be scrapped for good.
So, please take advantage of it now even if your big day is in the future.
Even though we are going through this crazy time, if you do a poor job at it, your speech will be captured on video, and your husband, family and friends, and other viewers will forever remember what you said and would not attribute your poor performance to the fact there was a deadly disease in town.
So, please take advantage of it now even if your big day is in the future by simply paying what you want after you get your beautiful speech.
Please note: Your speech draft comes with a proven and simple tip to master your speech or remember your speech just as you want it without carrying a paper with you.
Just see what someone said about that great tip that's proven to calm your nerves and help you speak with purpose, poise, and clarity!
''Hi Dan,
The speech went very well, I modified it a bit and practiced it as you suggested (great advice). Thanks for all your help and if I need a prepared speech again I’ll definitely contact you.
All the best,
Matt''
Please note: Don’t fill out this form if you’re a dishonest individual. This offer is for a limited time.
So, CLICK HERE TO GET STARTED NOW TO GET YOUR GREAT SPEECH NOW BY FILLING OUT A QUESTIONNAIRE---you only pay after your beautiful speech has been delivered. So, you can have peace of mind and not lose money. The risk is on us!
You don't have to worry about paying our per speech for now.
Forget about money and let’s write something for you. We believe in the values of honesty and integrity and we think you should be happy with our work first.
So, Here Are The Benefits You Get When You Get On Board!
- A great speech written by our wedding speech consultants that reflects what you want to say exactly
- We coach you on how to use your voice to make your speech very exciting.
- We show you a simple but often overlook strategy to rehearse your speech even if you have a very poor memory. This method is used by great speakers like Obama and was used by Abraham Lincoln and his compatriots
- The most effective way to get your entire speech into your head without memorizing your speech. Guaranteed to help you even if you have a very poor memory or your memory is like a goldfish…most of our clients still wonder where we got this idea from. This ensures that you don't read off a sheet of paper...
Just see what someone said about that great tip that's proven to calm your nerves and help you speak with purpose, poise, and clarity!
''Hi Dan,
The speech went very well, I modified it a bit and practiced it as you suggested (great advice). Thanks for all your help and if I need a prepared speech again I’ll definitely contact you.
All the best,
Matt''
- Ways to include humor in your speech and what it takes to do so
So, CLICK HERE TO GET STARTED NOW TO GET YOUR GREAT SPEECH NOW BY FILLING OUT A QUESTIONNAIRE---you only pay after your beautiful speech has been delivered. So, you can have peace of mind and not lose money. The risk is on us!
Remember, you have to see your speech first before you pay. So, you can relax and let us sweat it out at our expense!