Funny Groom Wedding Speech or Toast: How To Easily Write A Hilarious Groom Wedding Speech Using This Easy-To-Follow Example

 

Everyone enjoys listening to funny groom wedding speeches, right? Oh yeah….I absolutely love them!

But, let’s face it. It can be a real pain in the butt when it comes to making  hilarious groom wedding toasts.

Well, if you are bent on delivering one, then you just have to spend a few minutes of your time on this page and I will share with you….

• How to write a very funny groom toast even if you are not a naturally funny person
• How you can properly model your hilarious groom speech after great funny groom speech examples without breaking a sweat
• Plus lots of simple ideas and proven examples to help you write a very hilarious groom speech like a pro

 

 

Have you ever listened to a funny groom wedding speech that made your day? I hope so.  I am sure you got so excited listening to one that you probably concluded that you are going to make one too when you are about to get married to the love your life someday.

 

 

Well, your big day is finally here and it's your turn. But let me ask you this:

 

Do You Really Have What It Takes To Come Up With a Humorous Wedding Speech?

 

If the thought of saying something hilarious makes your heart miss lost of beats,  then, please don’t worry about it because this short story or joke will inspire you to come up with a very funny groom speech that will make your wedding night one to remember.

 

Here's Something To Make You Happy

 

During a wedding rehearsal, the groom took the minister to one side and said:

''I will give you 100 dollars if you change my wedding vows. When you reach the part where I promise to love, honor and obey and ‘forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever, I want you to leave that bit out.''

The minister duly accepted 100 dollars. At the ceremony itself, the minister got to the groom's vows and said: ''Will you promise to obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning, and promise that you will never look at another woman?''

The groom was horrified. ''I thought we had a deal, ‘’ he hissed. ‘’ Yes,’’ whispered the minister pressing the 100 dollars into the groom’s hand. ‘’ But the bride made a better offer.''

At the ministers’ words, his face fell and he muttered: ''I would have been luckier if I had emptied my bank account…She’s going to give me a run for my money.'' 

 

I hope you enjoyed reading that joke as much as I did. Adding a nice wedding joke is one of the best ways of making your groom speech funny and creating memories that will last forever.

 

First and foremost, let’s debunk some common myths about making hilarious groom speeches and how to set yourself up for an electrifying performance.

 

Here they are:

 

• You really don’t have to a naturally funny person to write a funny groom speech.  You can deliver one if you know the steps involved in creating one.
• You don’t have to imitate another wedding speech or speaker you admire. Just be yourself and insert a few humorous stories here and there and you will please the wedding crowd.
• Finally, you don’t to act like a clown to delight the audience.  You just have to add a few props to your speech to make it absolutely hilarious.

 

Your groom speech doesn’t have to be funny from start to the end. If you have the ability to do that, that would be great.  But if you can’t, you should just sprinkle throughout your speech a few hilarious incidents here and there and you will be successful.

 

Now, This Is How To Write Your Groom Speech Like A Pro!

 

Without further ado, let’s get started by watching two funny groom speech videos so you can get an idea of how to make funny groom speeches. This is particularly helpful if you have never seen or heard one.

 

Here’s a suggestion though: Please grab your notepad and pen and write down tips and ideas that resonate best with you as you watch these video clips.

 

Funny Groom Speech Template Video#1

 

 

 

Humurous Groom Speech Example Video #2

 

 

I am sure you enjoyed listening to both speeches. What was your favorite if I may ask? Well,  I would give a thumps up for the second clip. I really like how the attitude of the old man and the fact that the groom was able to sustain our interest for that amount of time.

 

If you love to read, then here’s a written sample you can study and model your scripter after

 

Here Is A Short Funny Groom Speech Example You Can Model Your Toast After

 

I found this at www.hitched.co.uk and I am glad to share it with you because it perfectly captures the essence of what the writing process is all about. I really want to thank Liam for posting it on that website.

 

“Hello All!

As I sat at Bianca and Andy’s wedding watching Andy slowly fill the room with his tears, Bayley’s Cousin Mark and I spoke about my own speech.

 

Mark’s closing advice was that you are never going to have a more receptive audience than at a wedding. I’d ask you all to please keep this salient point in mind and react generously of the course of my speech!

 

I think that before I get into this, I need to make a special toast right away. Please raise your glasses. This toast is to a man that none of you actually know, not even Bayley. It’s a man named Collin. Collin comes from Milton Keynes and he got married in September 2012. Collin was kind enough to post his speech online, and I have taken advantage of that kindness by plagiarizing it shamelessly.

 

Collin, you are an articulate, funny man and I hope I do you justice. So please raise your glasses, to Collin!

 

 

In the last couple of weeks, I’ve been asked if I am nervous. The answer was that, yeah, of course, I was. Nervous about the ceremony, the first dance, and especially this speech. But I’ve never had a single doubt that getting married to Bayley will be the best thing I will ever do in my life.

 

To start with, I would like to take this opportunity to say that unfortunately, there are some people close to our hearts who cannot be with us today. I know they would have enjoyed it immensely. Our thoughts are with them and we know that their thoughts are with us. Ladies and gentlemen… please raise your glasses to ABSENT AND LOST, Family and Friends.

 

Anyway, on behalf of my wife and I (tough crowd), we have to thank you all for making this day so special for us both. It wouldn’t be the same without you all. Some of you have come a long way, some not so much.

 

But all of you have traveled in the knowledge that you’re going to have to pay £8 for a vodka and coke. That is commitment and we really appreciate it. And so the next toast goes out to you lot – please be upstanding, turn to your neighbor and raise your glass – “To you”!

 

I’d like to thank Jacqui for her kind words and best wishes just now. I’d also like to thank you for giving me your blessing to marry your amazing daughter and the help you’ve given us in preparing for our wedding.

 

 

You’ve been extremely welcoming to me and supportive of us. Even when I stole your bottle of wine at Bianca’s wedding in November, you’ve continued to put up with me, which I thank you for. (And I recommend you hold onto your wine bottle when we leave).

 

I also want to thank my mum and dad for your support to both of us. Thank you for everything you have given me throughout my life and in particular the help you’ve given us in preparing for our wedding. You have given me and Pan so many opportunities in our lives that have made us the outstanding children to you that we are today.

 

As a thank you to you both, we’ve got a gift for you. Don’t worry John, this is for both of you!

 

Please join me in raising a glass to the parents!

I was also able to get Bayley’s nephew, Zayn’s approval prior to the wedding too. (Which is a good thing considering we had already appointed him as page boy by this point).

 

Bayley and I were babysitting Zayn and Rocco one evening. Just as Bayley tucked Zayn into bed, Zayn said “Auntie Bayley I hear you’re getting married like mommy did?” “That’s right I am” Bayley said. Zayn then said “who are you getting married to?” “Uncle Liam!” said Bayley.

 

Zayn then gave me his stamp of approval with “oh that’s good I like Uncle Liam!” Given that our Niece Keira has not been afraid to mention on several occasions to my face that Auntie Bayley is her favourite, I took that as her approval also!

 

Bayley could be forgiven for thinking that this day might have come a couple of years earlier. After several teasing questions from our friends and family about when I might propose, I once joked that I had already bought her ring and that I was hiding it under the bed.

 

Almost as quickly as I said this, I realised this was a mistake. The ring Bayley had always wanted was made by a small jewellers in Barnstaple. The ring had already been moved to the sold gallery on their website by this point, which made my lie seem even more believable.

 

I then had to keep this lie going (as a sort of joke) for the next 2 years, secretly worrying how I would be able to buy her this ring. In the end I had it made by the same jewellers so I got out of that one OK.

 

It was at this stage of writing my speech that I struggled with what to move onto next. Do I go with a story about when me and Bayley first met or do I go straight into the soppy stuff. I then asked myself, what did Collin do? So onto the story of how me and Bayley first met…

 

As some of you will know, me and Bayley used to work at Burton. However because we both worked in the smaller shoe department where there was only ever 1 person on at a time, we didn’t actually meet for the first 3 months, until we had our Christmas party on the 2nd December 2011.

 

After going to a pub nearby for some pre-drinking, we began to make our way to the restaurant.

 

The first time I laid my eyes on Bayley, she was storming over in her big red heels to a parking attendant who was in the process of giving her a ticket. Now as I expect some of you know, Bayley can have a little bit of a temper.

 

After some choice words (which I can’t repeat today) from Bayley to the poor man trying to do his job, Bayley stormed off in a fit of rage. At that point I remember thinking to myself: ‘this girl is absolutely crazy’.

 

We proceeded to get talking at the restaurant and, once I had established that she didn’t need help, we seemed to hit it off. 3 cars and at least 10 jobs for Bayley, 6 holidays, a skydive (a gift from me which Bayley was obviously delighted with from the word go..), a house of our own, and a mischievous cat later, here we are today.

 

I tried really hard to put into words how I feel about Bayley. What I’ve ended up with is a disorganized list of random observations about her. These were meant to be embellished into cute little anecdotes about why I love her, but it’s turned into a series of random thoughts. Regardless, here we go…

 

She runs like a penguin, she hates it when I don’t listen (which judging by some of the disapproving looks she gives me, is most of the time), she can’t go more than about 30 minutes without satisfying her sugar craving, when I once bought her a 24 pack of Rio from Costco I’ve never seen her more happy, and still haven’t, she thinks I’m a bad dancer (and she couldn’t be more right), she hates exercise more than anything on this planet, she is open minded to my questionable music taste, if she could, she’d nap for 23 hours of the day.

She loves our cat Jake even though he prefers me to her, she consistently goes out of her way to help people without expecting anything in return, she’s one of the kindest people I know, people tend to like her more than they like me.

 

Let’s now please raise a glass to my beautiful wife.

To Bayley. I love you so much and look forward to growing old with you.

That last line was all Collin… but I couldn’t have put it any better.

I’d now like to thank all of Bayley’s bridesmaids for making this day complete for Bayley. I think we can all agree that you all look absolutely stunning today.

 

I know I can speak for her in saying how much she appreciates all the support you’ve given her, and in particular to Bianca for throwing her a fantastic hen party.

 

She was so happy with everything that you prepared, well, all except the Mr & Mrs game which as I understand my answers didn’t go down so well..!! Good to get our feelings all out in the open before the wedding I guess!!

 

To all those that went, please ask for a Prosecco at the bar on me. (and just so you know this isn’t a cruel joke, I have put the money behind the bar!!)

 

I’d also like to thank the best man and ushers for making it to my stag in Lisbon. Certainly having me dress up as a sailor to highlight what my mum used to dress me in as a baby really did set the tone for the weekend!

 

Pete also did his best to steal the limelight away from me by selfishly breaking his hand on day 2 but luckily for me no one really took any notice of him and he continued without medical attention until he returned home.

 

To commemorate the weekend, you should all see a lovely shot in front of you. I’d now ask that you all save the queen and “see it off”. Please can you all raise your glasses once more to the bridesmaids and ushers!

That leaves me to thank you once again for being here, and I really hope you enjoy the band (they cost £58 a song..)

Cheers everyone!”

 

 

Now, Let’s Get The Ball Rolling With My Comments That Can Help You Write Yours Effortlessly

 

That example was by a guy from the UK but it can still be adapted to suit your style or needs. Now, let’s break it down bit by bit so we can figure out what goes into writing a funny groom speech or toast.

 

First, let’s look at the opening lines of the funny groom speech above to help us a clear understanding of how to craft your opening remarks.

 

 

If you read that entire extract in details, you will realize that it has the following core components:

• Inclusion of a funny story
• Thanking the best man/ roasting the best man or groomsmen
• Thanking the parents of the bride for allowing you to marry their daughter
• Thanking your own parents for their love and support
• Thanking the crowd for their love and support

 

Please note: Your introduction should capture all of the bullet points we've just looked at.

 

This is what I want you to do now. Can you take a few minutes to write down a simple introduction by incorporating one or more of the above ideas? Just give it a try and your ideas will flow from there.

 

Now, let’s talk about adding a funny element at the start of your speech. Here’s an example to illustrate how to make your opening lines funny.

 

Here you go:

For the sake of the gatecrashers, let me start by saying: For those of you, I am Dan and am the bride’s former boyfriend! And now, her duly recognized and respected husband!

 

I giggled like a happy little boy when I read that. Did you realize how I started with that? Guess what? The opening lines of your speech have the power to break the nervous ice if done well and get the wedding audience right into the very heart of your wedding toast.

 

 

Aside from starting with a funny incident, you could also kickstart using or more of these ideas once you get a creative spark. 

 

 Here they are:

• If this is a multicultural wedding, you can learn how to greet the audience or even express words of gratitude in English and translate your words into the bride’s mother tongue and everyone will be happy with you. If you can’t speak the language fluently, please ask for help from the bride or her parents or someone who’s well versed in it.

 

• You may also start by saying: ''I promise that this is going to be the shortest groom speech you have ever’’ (comment: and then you roll down a very long sheet of paper and jokingly add this:) ''Seriously, did you believe me when I said that?  Remember, we have been dating  for five years and you shouldn’t expect anything less than that. You are even luckier to have gotten these few pages considering how long we have been together! ''

 

• Funny groom speech one-liners or wisecracks can also be great conversation starters.  Here’s an example: 

A wise man once said that a woman is like a teabag. You won't know who strong she is until you put her in hot water. I only got to know that Nancy is a tea bag until we got into big trouble while on vacation in Australia. So, for now, I am going to tell you why this special lady is my tea bag.

• You may start with a good joke. Inside jokes may help to an extent but bear in mind that not everyone will get it. You may make fun of the bride, your own parents, and others without utterly embarrassing them.

• A lot of grooms have very horrible singing voices like toads croaking in water in the dead of the night. You can take advantage of that by singing a well-known song and then tell everyone that you have been rehearsing the song for months and you are glad your voice is getting better. That will get everyone chuckling with delight. 
• You can also come to upstage in funny clothes or with props and the crowd will crack up laughing.

 

 

It’s Now Over To You…Which Of Those Tips Or Ideas Will Work Best For You? You’ve Got To Decide And Act On It!

 

Now, let’s quickly turn our attention to the body: the story outline of your message.

This is the part of your message the audience enjoys the most so you have to make sure it’s interesting and memorable.

 

This is what I suggest you should do to come up with great content for the body of your funny groom wedding toast.  Just do a little brainstorming and write your answers next to the following questions:

• When and where did you first meet the bride?

• What were your first impressions the first time you met her?
• What are some fun and fond memories you would like to share?

• When did you realize the bride was going to be your wife?

• What are your shared interests or how do you complement each other?

• Why do you really love the bride?

• In what ways does she balance you out?

• What are her beautiful qualities that you admire?

• What do you imagine the future to be like with her by your side?

• What promises do you want to make to your wife?

 

Please note: If you can’t recall every single detail, please don’t worry. Just down what you can remember and then use your answers to write a rough first draft.

You may scroll up and read the example at the outset of this post once again for inspiration so you can complete your draft.

If you have a few days to the wedding ceremony, you can keep making changes until you’re very happy with the final edit. But it’s always best to let another pair of eyes to look at it.

 

 

Now, Let’s Get Into How To Write The Ending Of Your Funny Groom Speech

 

You should put a lot of effort into the closing remarks because it’s the part that will stay in the minds of your friends and family and loved ones for a very long time.  

Are you wondering about how to end your groom's speech with a bang? You may end with one or more of these tips.

• You can end with a short and sweet poem about love like this one by Thomas a Kempis

Love is a great thing, yea, a great and thorough good.
By itself, it makes that which is heavy light…but as a living flame, it forces itself upwards and securely passes through all.
Love is active and sincere, courageous, patient, faithful, prudent, and manly.

• You can make promises to your wife .  Here’s an example:

I promise to love you, still look after you, and tease you back when you tease me. But I won’t do it for too long else…

 

• Are you a Christian or a deeply religious person, then you can use the words of the bible to climax it or end it with a prayer.

 

Here’s an example that illustrates using a verse from the scripture.

 

In Ephesians 5:25, scripture instructs husbands to love their wives just as Jesus Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. 

Sarah, I know without a shadow of a doubt that you are God’s best gift to me and I promise to love you with my whole heart just as Jesus loved the church and gave himself up for her.

I know that loving you like Christ is not as easy as it’s often said, but God will be my source of love and strength. My love for you is so pure, so unconditional, and I know with you by my side, we will grow in the love of God and enjoy his best blessings.

 

• Did you know you can use portions of your vow to script a few hilarious lines? Just imagine how receptive the audience will be to your speech if you say something along these lines to your bride.

 

You love to eat sandwiches but you hate it when you have to wait for a hot one. So from this moment forward, I promise to always get you one on time.

P.S: Most grooms do this...Have you considered it? Want to write and give a great wedding speech like the one above but can't seem to get started because you don't know the exact words to use?

Or not too sure if what you intend writing will be well received by the guests?

Let's help you make the bride and your family and friends proud and let the wedding guests say great things about your speech.

Here’s what one nervous person called Glen sent over after the wedding was over. 

Hey Dan, I just wanted to thank you once again for the speech you wrote with me. My goal was met afterward, I was told by many "what a beautiful speech" and received a standing ovation. I couldn't have done this without you. God Bless Dan!- Glen, U.S.A

Want to know how he did just that? He got on board our wedding speech program and one of our talented speech consultants helped him out.

Want to get on board? You should by first filling out this form

Ok, Is This Offer For Me?

• Yes, if you are expecting nothing less than a very special, beautiful, unique, and memorable speech.

• Yes, if you are overwhelmed by the pressures of work and don’t have the time to put together a very meaningful speech, so you can have peace of mind

• Yes, if you want the bride and your family, children, friends, and wedding guests to shower you with very sincere compliments…just imagine how you will feel

• Yes, if you are not good with words and you feel you’re not a natural writer and you are struggling to find the right words but still want to give a great speech.

• Yes, you get so scared anytime you’re asked to say something before an audience and you really want to save yourself from any form of embarrassment on your big day.

• Yes, if you are not too eloquent or not too sure if you are on the right track.

• Yes, if you absolutely hate speaking in public or feel this is not your thing but you want to make your wife feel very proud

• Yes, if you have a day or less to the wedding and you are worried that you might make some horrible mistakes

• Yes, if you are a good speaker but you still want someone to look over or review what you've come up with!

Wedding not too far away? Or happening in less than 24 hours? Trust me, we can deliver! it doesn’t matter if your speech is today, tomorrow, next week, next month, next year,... we can make things work for you 

Just imagine leaving your entire presentation in the hands of skilled wedding speech consultants who will take away your pain of spending hours thinking hard and long about what to say and what not to say.

Also, envision being patiently guided to say something that will leave a favorable impression on the mind of your listeners.

And also imagine the thrill and feeling of excitement and pride you’re going to experience when the audience leaps onto their feet and screams and shouts and even sing your praises.

Won’t you love that? I hope you do...

Ok, I am Interested, What’s the Cost?

You simply pay what you want after you’ve got your beautiful speech.

Why? As you know, the current health crisis has caused severe hardships for most people.

Precious lives have been lost, jobs wiped out and families displaced, leaving everyone wondering what the future holds.

Yet, some couples are still getting married and giving speeches like never before. 

Nonetheless, not everyone could afford our services even before the pandemic suddenly hit us.

So, we have dropped our normal rates so you can simply pay what you want after you have got your beautiful speech.

Please note: When life gets back to normal, this offer will be scrapped for good.

So, please take advantage of it now even if your big day is in the future.

Even though we are going through this crazy time, if you do a poor job at it, your speech will be captured on video, and the bride, your friends and family, and other viewers will forever remember what you said and would not attribute your poor performance to the fact there was a deadly disease in town.  

So, please take advantage of it now even if your big day is in the future by simply paying what you want after you get your beautiful speech.   

Oh Ok, How Then Do I Get Started Since I Want To Get On Board Right Away?

Ok, here’s how it works

All you have to do RIGHT NOW is to click on this link to receive an easy-to-fill-in questionnaire via email. Check your email a few hours after you’ve submitted your request for your questionnaire.

So,

1)CLICK HERE  NOW TO GET STARTED NOW TO GET YOUR GREAT SPEECH NOW BY FILLING OUT THIS QUESTIONNAIRE---you only pay after your beautiful speech has been delivered. So, you can have peace of mind!

2. After that, we will send you a very short questionnaire to fill out via email! You only have to check your email a few hours after you have made your request.

3. Then, you fill out the questionnaire sent through your email, and please have it sent back to us…

4. We will confirm receipt of it…If something is not too clear, we will ask you to clarify….
5. If not, we will send you a wonderful draft in a couple of hours if this on very short notice….If not, after a few days

4. Then, you look it over and tell us if you are okay with it or you want to amend or revise it till you are happy with it--although we always get it right even with the first draft. 

Just a reminder of what you pay after it’s duly completed.

You simply pay what you want after you’ve got your beautiful speech.

Why? As you know, the current health crisis has caused severe hardships for most people.

Precious lives have been lost, jobs wiped out and families displaced, leaving everyone wondering what the future holds.

Yet, some grooms are still getting married and have to say something about the bride. 

Nonetheless, not everyone could afford our services even before the pandemic suddenly hit us.

So, we have dropped our normal rates so you can simply pay what you want after you have got your beautiful speech.

Please note: When life gets back to normal, this offer will be scrapped for good.

So, please take advantage of it now even if your son’s big day is in the future.

Even though we are going through this crazy time, if you do a poor job at it, your speech will be captured on video, and your wife, family and friends, and other viewers will forever remember what you said and would not attribute your poor performance to the fact there was a deadly disease in town.  

So, please take advantage of it now even if your big day is in the future by simply paying what you want after you get your beautiful speech.   

Please note: Your speech draft comes with a proven and simple tip to master your speech or remember your speech just as you want it without carrying a paper with you.

Just see what someone said about that great tip that's proven to calm your nerves and help you speak with purpose, poise, and clarity!

''Hi Dan,

The speech went very well, I modified it a bit and practiced it as you suggested (great advice).  Thanks for all your help and if I need a prepared speech again I’ll definitely contact you.

All the best,

Matt''

Please note: Don’t fill out this form if you’re a dishonest individual. This offer is for a limited time.

So, CLICK HERE TO GET STARTED NOW TO GET YOUR GREAT SPEECH NOW BY FILLING OUT A QUESTIONNAIRE---you only pay after your beautiful speech has been delivered. So, you can have peace of mind and not lose money. The risk is on us!

You don't have to worry about paying our per speech for now.

Forget about money and let’s write something for you. We believe in the values of honesty and integrity and we think you should be happy with our work first.

So, Here Are The Benefits You Get When You Get On Board!

• A great speech written by our wedding speech consultants that reflects what you want to say exactly

• We coach you on how to use your voice to make your speech very exciting.

• We show you a simple but often overlook strategy to rehearse your speech even if you have a very poor memory. This method is used by great speakers like Obama and was used by Abraham Lincoln and his compatriots

• The most effective way to get your entire speech into your head without memorizing your speech. Guaranteed to help you even if you have a very poor memory or your memory is like a gold fish…most of our clients still wonder where we got this idea from. This ensures that you don't read off a sheet of paper...

Just see what someone said about that great tip that's proven to calm your nerves and help you speak with purpose, poise, and clarity!

''Hi Dan,

The speech went very well, I modified it a bit and practiced it as you suggested (great advice).  Thanks for all your help and if I need a prepared speech again I’ll definitely contact you.

All the best,

Matt''

• Ways to include humor in your speech and what it takes to do so

So, CLICK HERE TO GET STARTED NOW TO GET YOUR GREAT SPEECH NOW BY FILLING OUT A QUESTIONNAIRE---you only pay after your beautiful speech has been delivered. So, you can have peace of mind and not lose money. The risk is on us!

Remember, you have to see your speech first before you pay. So, you can relax and let us sweat it out at our expense!